New York Week: An Ode to Singledom
I need your opinion. I have been known, on occasion, to hop on a plane on my own in search of fresh influences and experiences. But it seems not everyone is as open to the perspective of solo travellers.
Maybe I’m old-school but I shower and change after a day at work or wandering about and I get ready for dinner. I am presentable, articulate and, dare I say, gainfully employed. And yet, twice this trip I have been either turned away—”we’re closing in 10 minutes”—or relegated to the cavernous depths of the “lounge”, lovely as it may have been if a windowless landscape swept by the frigid gusts of an over-zealous AC unit was what you were looking for.
In the lounge incident I was not the only lone pundit steered away from the dining room but, thankfully, the Village Voice was equal to itself: entertaining, educational and as “liberal” as I might have hoped. I should have left, I know, but the crisp viognier and the tuna tartare got the best of me.
Let me get to the point: I was not lonely or desperate or in need of company. These instances were ones I chose to spend on my own but, had it been different, I still can’t explain the prejudice. Is singledom contagious? Does it make a dining establishment seem suspicious or tawdry?
We are born alone—well, you know what I mean, no disrespect to mothers—and will die alone, which makes the relationships we forge with our families and friends in the interim all the more precious. But, really, must we always have a travelling mate to blend in? Why is sitting in a coffee shop writing a paper—or a novel—acceptable—and kind of cool—but dining alone pitiful? (Playing with your phone doesn’t fool anyone btw)
What has your experience been? Does gender make a difference? Comments please or I might feel lonesome.
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I realise this has little to do with design thinking but it has to do with how we live, and anyway it’s my blog and I can rant if I want to.
Dining alone in NYC is not that unusual. Sorry to hear you’ve had a bad time of it. There are a lot of great places to go and sit at the bar (which can be nicer and more fun anyway, depending on the place). This blog offers recommendations for solo diners (note: not all reviews in NYC, though most are).
http://www.immaculateinfatuation.com/reviews/tag/perfect-for/dining-solo/
Hello Sue. That’s very sweet. I haven’t been having a bad time at all. Previous trips to NY it hadn’t been so obvious and it’s certainly not something that’s unique to this city. I’ve been observing simply and a little amused frankly. As I mentioned, there are few disappointments that a nice glass of wine can’t cure. However this is a great resource you offer. Bookmarked! Thank you so much!
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